Somebody I know for about 7 years passed away two days ago.
She succumbed to depression and ended her own life, jumping off a 12-storey building,
nobody knowing what went on her mind then.
Here is a girl whose face was constantly donned with a smile.
I can still remember how she would greet me with her infectious smile that would brighten anyone's gloomiest day.
And I do not even have a picture of her.
I questioned my input in her life.
I have seen quite a few students' death, but those did not affect me as much as this one.
I guess, having seen her in church from day 1 makes the difference.
I am feeling very sorry,
that I hadn't done anything more significant besides giving her hugs,
that I didn't follow through her spiritual walk despite her being one high functioning student in my zone,
that I cut off interactions with her in recent years and overlooked the seriousness of her depression.
It wasn't a very strong relationship I had with her.
In fact, I do not form strong relationship with JAMs students...
But she was one student close to my heart.
Death is unpredictable, but not unexpected...
Even as I mourn for the loss of this one student, I am reminded of the vulnerability of the people around me - those who constantly struggle with depression, those who live their lives without their friends or even themselves understanding them..
I'm failing the past vision..
I like to be one who can fill the gap and to be the shelter.
Yet..
Let it overflow once again...
