bedtime stories

I took a 45-min walk home from my colleague’s house today, listening to music from the FM receiver at the same time.
Nighttime radio music is actually quite harmful to my soul.
But I still like to indulge in it sometimes.

When I am left alone at night, I often find myself thinking about the past.
The sight of things around me can create quite an emotion.
Like tonight, I saw an older man riding a bike with his wife sitting behind him.

I thought of my parents – of how my dad could survive alone without any company these days.
I thought of growing up with family members and having to leave home to come to this place and spending the rest of my youth on my own, without anyone close.
A stranger in a foreign land without any case of identity…
And so on… Almost fell into a nostalgic journey.

The funniest part is, I hardly think of him or my family at all when I go about my daily routine, or when my mind is filled with other thoughts.

Emotion is not bad. After all, we all have souls and our soul should prosper too.
It’s just sad to see how some people are consistently filled with sad thoughts of the past and refused to move on.

I come to conclude that, in your mind, you either stay in the past, or you look forward to the future.

For me now, if not for the math syllabus and my students, my mind is mostly at a state of rest – non thinking – not of the past, nor of the future (haha)
It is often during the night time when I am idle, that my mind starts to wander to the past, and I tread the path backwards.

That’s why, God told us to be transformed by the “renewing of our mind”.
Re-NEW: Allow new things to enter
New things that probably have yet to take place in the past – new ideas, new dreams, etc

An empty and idle mind is a good place for emo-attack, especially at night, when one is left alone.
Fill the mind with the WOG. Meditate on all good things.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.

Do not get stuck in an emotional rut.
Move on.
Instead of filling it with things of the past, change the wineskin, so that new wine can come in too.