unpredictable

Somebody I know for about 7 years passed away two days ago.

She succumbed to depression and ended her own life, jumping off a 12-storey building,

nobody knowing what went on her mind then.

Here is a girl whose face was constantly donned with a smile.

I can still remember how she would greet me with her infectious smile that would brighten anyone's gloomiest day.

And I do not even have a picture of her.

I questioned my input in her life.

I have seen quite a few students' death, but those did not affect me as much as this one.

I guess, having seen her in church from day 1 makes the difference.

I am feeling very sorry,

that I hadn't done anything more significant besides giving her hugs,

that I didn't follow through her spiritual walk despite her being one high functioning student in my zone,

that I cut off interactions with her in recent years and overlooked the seriousness of her depression.

It wasn't a very strong relationship I had with her.

In fact, I do not form strong relationship with JAMs students...

But she was one student close to my heart.

Death is unpredictable, but not unexpected...

Even as I mourn for the loss of this one student, I am reminded of the vulnerability of the people around me - those who constantly struggle with depression, those who live their lives without their friends or even themselves understanding them..

I'm failing the past vision..

I like to be one who can fill the gap and to be the shelter.

Yet..

Let it overflow once again...